THIS YOGA MAT RUINED THREE GALLERY OPENINGS.

I attended three gallery openings in seven days. I was supposed to write about the art. I am writing about a yoga mat.

At the first, an oilman breathed into a Corda mat like it was fine wine. He was expecting the usual yoga mat assemblage of burnt tire and petroleum. He stood back up in shock. He said the mat smelled perfectly fine. He said this was a big problem for big oil.

At the second, a guest poured wine on her mat to settle an argument. She held Warrior 3 without slipping. The mat gripped well. A waiter set his tray of cheese down to test the mat himself. He has now ordered one on the Corda website. He likes to stretch after banquets.

At the third, an artist held a mat with both hands, gingerly. She said she had spent a decade buying mats that felt like sheets of industrial byproduct. She said this one felt like nature.

I called our founder after each. He said mats that smell like burnt cars can be bought at other companies. He said gripping is the entire point of a mat, and he is not sure what the other companies thought they were making. He said the artist at the third gallery would get over it. He said nature surprises people.

Mr. Waterloo is no longer welcome at any of the three galleries, for repeatedly leaving his ringer on.